I faked an abortion last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
