im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
