Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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