I must be too annoying 4 u.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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