I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
my poor anus
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
