But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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