Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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