i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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