Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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