So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
