Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
