Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
