I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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