it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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