Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize