woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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