My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
