So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
