Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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