the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
