Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want to walk on stilts...naked
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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