I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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