But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize