please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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