How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
