After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
