What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
