my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
