Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize