Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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