its not stalking. its research.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
