I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
