3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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