I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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