just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
