Already got asked if we're dating
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
