Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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