Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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