Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
