Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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