i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
