I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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