You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
