YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your penis caused this!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
