Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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