shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
