I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
