Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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