you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize