new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
