none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
