Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
is that a dick in a sweater?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
