But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I met the friendliest cop last night
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
