I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
