..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
