Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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