they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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