oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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