just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
