She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
