im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
